Lazlo is Mine!
by jolttheroadrunner
Summary: When Patsy finds out Lazlo is in a sexual relationship with Edward, things go nuts, can Lazlo solve this problem?


One night at Camp Kidney, Lazlo and Edward was sitting down near a campfire eating roasted marshmallows..

"Hey, Edward, don't you just like sitting near the campfire and eating roasted marshmallows?", asked Lazlo cheerily.

"Uh yeah, I guess so", said Edward.

"Hey Edward, can I ask a question?", said Lazlo.

"(sigh) What is it?", asked Edward.

"Do you like me?", asked Lazlo.

"What do you mean?", asked Edward.

"Like "like me" like me?", asked Lazlo.

Edward was starting to feel nervous, liking a boy and him already being a boy was the weirdest thing he ever imagined as he thought of Lazlo looking like a girl and was feeling timid and started shaking.

"Yeah, I guess I kinda do", said Edward as he was soon hugged tightly by Lazlo.

"I knew'd you do Edward!", said Lazlo as he hugged Edward.

Edward blushed as he smiled tenderly. "Hey Lazlo, I gotta tell you something", said Edward.

"Yes, Edward?" said Lazlo.

"I really like you and I wanna be your boyfriend!", admitted Edward.

"You do, thank you!", said Lazlo crying in happiness.

"Let's fucking make out!", said Edward.

"Yeah let's", said Lazlo as he and Edward pressed lips against each other and made out like there's no tomorrow.

Lazlo and Edward felt the warmth as they kept their lips locked hard and holding each other hard.

After a few moments of making out, Edward decided to have sex with Lazlo.

"Hey Lazlo, let's do it!", said Edward.

"What do you mean, Edward?", asked Lazlo oblivious.

"Let's have sex you idiot, you know let me fuck you!", said Edward.

"Oh okay", said Lazlo.

Then Edward took all his clothes off, including his boxers along with Lazlo who took his shirt, his pants, and boxers off too and the two lied down on the grass and Lazlo started to fuck Edward.

"Oh Lazlo, do it more, harder!, faster!,", panted Edward.

Lazlo started to fuck Edward harder and faster and Edward was moaning louder than ever. The moaning got the attention of Patsy who was walking in the woods and went to discover the moaning. As soon as Patsy walked over, she saw Lazlo and she hid in a bush, then she saw Lazlo fucking someone, It was Edward! When Patsy sees this, she soon feels heartbroken that Lazlo loves Edward more than her and soon she feels enraged and in a fit of rage, she jumps out of the bush and confronts the both.

"HEY!, PLATYPUS, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY MAN!", Patsy said filled with rage.

"Oh shit!", said Edward in fear.

Lazlo and Edward quickly got dressed while Patsy confronted them.

"Patsy, listen, it's not what it looks like!", said Lazlo trying to defend himself and Edward.

"NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!?, I LITERALLY SAW YOU FUCKING EDWARD!, DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID!?", screamed Patsy.

"Listen missy, we're just friends, I would never come between you-!", said Edward.

"SHUT UP!", screamed Patsy as she punched Edward knocking his tooth out.

Edward got down to spit out blood and then got back up.

"ALRIGHT BITCH, YOU WANNA GO RIGHT NOW!?", challenged Edward.

"BRING IT ON!", screamed Patsy as she and Edward fought each other physically.

Edward and Patsy were punching each other over and over while Lazlo watched in fear.

"HE'S MINE BITCH!", said Edward as she yanked on her pink hair hard.

"OOOWWWW!", screamed Patsy in pain.

"NO, HE'S MINE!", said Patsy as he grabbed the platypus' tail and slammed him to the ground over and over.

"AAAAUUUGGGHHH!", screamed Edward.

"Wait a minute", thought Edward as just then he lifted Patsy with his tail and slammed her down repeatedly pummeling her.

"HOW ABOUT THAT, SLUT!", said Edward.

Lazlo continued to watch as Edward and Patsy continuously fight each other for Lazlo's affection until he could not take anymore and stopped it immediatlely.

"BOTH OF YOU STOOOOOP!", screamed Lazlo. Edward and Patsy immediately stopped fighting as both were dirty and exhausted from fighting.

"Look, I don't want you both fighting over me!, this isn't right!", said Lazlo.

"Not right?, BUT LAZLO, I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND!, HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME!?", yelled Patsy.

"Okay Patsy, I know I'm your love, but I like Edward too, why can't you just accept the fact that I am gay, what's wrong with that?", asked Lazlo.

"You're having sex with a boy platypus, why couldn't you have sex with me?", asked Patsy.

"Because, I was already gay, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this, but I am truly gay and I'm proud of it, so why can't you accept for who I truly am?", asked Lazlo.

"Because…", said Patsy sadly.

"Look, maybe it be better if we were better off friends, you know, just friends", said Lazlo.

Patsy realized how selfish she was, she realized that you can't change a person for who they are and you'd have to deal with it and let it go.

"Yeah, I guess your right, I shouldn't try and change who you are, I really was a bitch, and we should just be friends, I'm sorry Lazlo and I'm sorry Edward for attacking you, Lazlo's yours", said Patsy apologizing to Lazlo and Edward.

"Yeah yeah, don't mention it", said Edward.

"Well, I guess I should be going, Bye Lazlo, Bye Edward", said Patsy saying goodbye.

"Bye Patsy", said both of the boys.

As soon as Patsy was gone, Lazlo was brushing off Edward after the fight.

"Edward, are you okay?", said Lazlo.

"Yeah, yeah, i'm fine, just a bit bruised, that's all, now where were we?", said Edward as he and Lazlo got undressed again and started to have sex.

"Ughh, I… love… you… Edward!", panted Lazlo.

"Ughh, I… love… you… too… Lazlo!", panted Edward.

End of Story 


End file.
